“A Healthy Relationship Is Built On Unwavering Trust”
Hope your Valentine’s Day consisted of a lot of love, chocolate and wine. This is the third Valentine’s Day I’ve spent without my partner now…First year our date plans failed miserably, second year I was in Zimbabwe with the family, and this year I’m living 3000 miles away in Kuwait! It’s clearly not meant to be for us.
So as you can guess, I’m in a long distant relationship and most of you are probably thinking “well that’s not gonna work”, but actually if you make the effort, there’s no reason for it not to work. I remember when I was first thinking about leaving the UK and I said to myself, “what’s going to happen to my relationship?” I had a lot of worries and it didn’t help when people were telling me how they’ve gone through this and it never works. I started to wonder if we’d get bored of each other, if the chemistry would go or if I’d come back almost a year later and we’d have both changed and just not liked each other anymore. But I realised I was being silly because if you really love someone, you don’t get bored of each other and you don’t just stop liking them.
When I told my partner, I could see it in his eyes that he wasn’t happy, but it’s understandable. If I was in his shoes I wouldn’t like it either. He had the same worries as me, and didn’t like the idea of me going to the Middle East on my own. But even though he wasn’t happy about it, he accepted that I had to do this, for me and he’s been supportive ever since. I know we love each other a lot so I’m confident that we can survive this. Plus, it’s only for 11 months, it’s not like I’m living here permanently!
If you’re in a long distant relationship or you’re preparing for one, here’s some tips that might help you deal with this big change:
1. First things first, do not decide to commit to a long distance relationship if you don’t trust your partner 100%. It’s most likely not going to end well. The main thing that keeps a relationship strong and healthy is trust, and if you can’t trust each other then how do you really think things will work living so far apart?
2. Always make the effort to speak to each other regularly. What ever the reason is for moving away, whether it’s because of a job opportunity or just to experience something different, make sure you always keep some time free to speak to your other half. Even if its just a ‘hello’ or ‘ how’s your day going’, trust me the slightest bit of acknowledgment can go a long way, because there’s going to be times that you both feel alone and that ‘hello’ will be the most comforting thing ever.
3. Be there for your other half no matter what. Support them with their decision to move away, even if you don’t like the idea of it. It’s not easy to leave your loved ones, and it’s likely that (s)he’s scared and will feel lonely at times. Remember this isn’t about you, it’s about them enjoying this opportunity and experiencing new things so show your support, don’t drag them down.
4. Never go to sleep angry at each other. A build up of tension in a relationship won’t do you any good. It’s harder to fix relationship issues when you’re both so far apart and don’t get to see each other as often as you’d like. If you fall out, take a couple of hours to reflect and then make up and move on.
5. Most importantly, keep hold of the memories you’ve made together. Here are some of mine that help me get through the days apart…
I can’t promise you’ll have an easy ride, because long distance relationships are tough, but as long as you both stay faithful, don’t pick unnecessary fights, and stick beside each other, you can get through it!